Parenting with a Difficult Ex

There are many reasons that your ex became your ex. Some parents are able to overcome their differences and become cooperative co-parents for their children. Others are not so lucky. No matter how much you want to be able to work together with your ex to parent your child(ren), your ex may be unwilling to do so. There are many ways that an ex can attempt to ruin your attempts to parent your children. Some are subtle; for example, “forgetting” to inform you of scheduled conferences or doctors appointments. Some are blatant; for example: harassing you when you attend an event or “pushing your buttons” to cause a scene. Some parents manipulate the children by buying expensive gifts if they refuse to spend time with the other parent.

How can you overcome this type of behavior? The best thing you can do is remain calm. This is easy to say, but difficult to do. Most of the time, your ex knows exactly how to make you react. It is important not to play the same game. If your ex confronts you, walk away. Remember, you do not have to respond to nasty emails or texts. If a response is required, send just the information necessary. Do not respond to the nasty comments. Sometimes your lack of reaction may be enough to diffuse the situation. Sometimes however, your ex will not give up…

Be sure to document the situation. Keep copies of emails and texts, including your responses. If your ex causes problems at your children’s events, be sure to attend with a friend who will witness the interactions. Once there is enough documentation, you can ask the Court to change your parenting plan to limit the amount of interaction you are required to have with your ex, or to hold them in contempt of Court. Remember, constant conflict with the other parent is harmful to your children. Do not involve your children in the conflict and do your best not to share your frustration with your children. While not reacting to your ex’s bad behavior is difficult, it is the best thing that you can do to help your attorney demolish them in Court. If you have a similar situation, give us a call today.