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Do's and Don'ts of Getting Divorced

Divorce is going to be the most stressful time of your life. Emotions run high, and every decision seems to be more stressful than the last. It's only human to find yourself reacting emotionally, but it's important to keep intellect over emotion. Your actions now can have a tremendous affect on the outcome of the divorce.

The 'Dos'

Do be reasonable and cooperate as much as possible with your soon-to-be-ex. Reasonable compromise yields quicker and easier results in divorce cases and can save your family a tremendous amount of money. The money saved can be used to invest in your children's college fund.

Do support your children through this process both financially and emotionally. It's even tougher on them than on you - don't force your children to pick sides. It is best to position yourself as a responsible parent. Responsible parents support their children financially and emotionally. If you are already separated then you will have to support the children from the date of the separation. It is best to find out from your attorney what a temporary support amount should be using "rough numbers". This amount can be adjusted later using information obtained through the discovery process.

Do let your spouse know when and where you will be spending time with your kids while you continue to work out your permanent time sharing arrangements. Both spouses have a responsibility to keep the other spouse informed in regards to the health, education and welfare of the children even during the divorce process itself. Remember that sooner or later you will be in front of judge and if you do not communicate and keep your spouse informed regarding the children that won't look good during the hearings that regard time sharing. You want to posture yourself to be a responsible and caring parent.

Do ask your attorney about things you don't understand. Your attorney works for you. Your attorney should be available to discuss any questions you might have regarding the divorce process. Your attorney should be there for you to help you thoroughly understand every part of the divorce process.

The 'Don'ts'

Don't make major life changes during the pending divorce. Major plans are: getting involved with a girlfriend; getting engaged; taking a job in or moving to another state or out of the country. These changes could hold up the divorce process and could interfere with getting your divorce finalized as well as making a time sharing arrangement much more difficult.

Don't violate any temporary time sharing agreements or Orders. It could make it tougher for you to get the time sharing rights that you are entitled to if the court thinks that you will not honor your agreements or the court's Orders.

Don't "give away" property to friends or relatives and arrange to get it back later. Hiding property will make you look bad in the eyes of the court. Through mandatory disclosure all financial assets and liabilities are acknowledged in sworn affidavits and certificates of compliance. Don't forget the court will be making a decision on the best interests of your children. Candor before the court is paramount if you are seeking an extensive time sharing schedule/parenting plan.

Don't try to handle the divorce alone. The divorce process is very complicated. An attorney can make sure that your interests are protected and your rights with regards to your children, the most important issue in your divorce, are made paramount in the negotiation and settlement of your case.

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